It may happen that our relationship is in crisis.
We begin to drift apart; it is increasingly difficult for us to find an agreement in many aspects of life. The closeness and intimacy replaced by animosity, often expressed by the increasingly frequent quarrels.
We are missing everything that until recently constituted the strength of our relationship. We cannot find a way to communicate without hurting each other. Increasingly we regret what we have said, and what we have done when overwhelmed by rage. We might not even be able to identify and determine the source of the problem.
Perhaps separately, maybe together, led by the remnants of barely simmering hope, we decide to save our relationship. We take the decision to start therapy for couples.
The counsellor allows us to find a new space for our relationship, structurally based on the principle of mutual respect and tolerance. By listening carefully and tactfully intervening in accordance with the agreed rules of conversation, the therapist begins to recognise the most significant problems in our relationship. Also, it helps us in hearing each other, in a way new to us. We have a chance to peacefully express our needs and also focus on what we recognise in our relationship as positive. Using a variety of support techniques that are mutually agreed, the counsellor helps us in developing a plan of mutual communication in such a way that we can avoid a repetition of the conflicts in the future. The therapy also aims to develop a plan to rebuild the closeness and intimacy.
We give ourselves a chance to continue our relationship, based on mutual respect and a sense of trust and security.